Why do I keep having freak accidents ?

[slippery pete]

All the visible evidence suggests I've been mauled by a bear today. The best kept hidden evidence suggests he kicked me in the nuts after the initial indignity.

Now considering this was in the Surrey Hills (where there haven't been bears for many a while) and I also seem to have a bent pedal and possibly crank arm, can the perspicacious advise me what actually happened because my recollection is a bit bit hazy.

 

[Supratad]

Did you wake up in a clearing with a sore botty?

 

[slippery pete]

Botty inviolate (thankfully)

 

[stiv674]

Maybe the bear tried to make off with your bike, hence the bent pedal and crank arm...

 

[stiv674]

Maybe this will help you remember

 

[DrStupid]

 

[GrandPaBrogan]

All the visible evidence suggests I've been mauled by a bear today. The best kept hidden evidence suggests he kicked me in the nuts after the initial indignity.

Now considering this was in the Surrey Hills (where there haven't been bears for many a while) and I also seem to have a bent pedal and possibly crank arm, can the perspicacious advise me what actually happened because my recollection is a bit bit hazy.

Had to look up that word in the dictionary, 'perspicacious'. Well, looks like it ain't me - but heck, with a name like that no wonder you keep sliding off your saddle.

Change your name from Slippery Pete - to Tacky Pete... no wait... to Grippy Pete... no wait... to Sticky Pete... yes, Sticky Pete. You'll never fall off again.

 

[stiv674]

Probably Stinky Pete if there's a bear chasing him!

 

[slippery pete]

I heard these eMTBs are good for people recovering from injuries...

...so I borrowed a crank and pedal from the GF's bike and went for a 3 hour ride on Sunday. Considering I was barely able to walk it went rather well.

 

[Zimmerframe]

Considering I was barely able to walk it went rather well.

Next time try riding it instead of pushing it !

 

[slippery pete]

I'm back to suspecting aliens might have been involved. The pedal (DMR V12) that the little green bulb-headed b*stards snagged is completely straight - no bent spindle at all. The Shimano crank arm (XT fc-m8050) has deformed/stripped pedal threads.

So, I'm either very impressed with the strength of DMR spindles or some little intergalactic d*ckhead has a very specific telekinetic grappling gun. Watch out on those trails.

 

[Mikerb]

If by now you have dispelled the theory that aliens or a bear were to blame for your misfortune you might reflect on the fact that all accidents are freak events. You may not be able to a void them but you can mitigate the risk ( e.g. take a high powered rifle with you on every ride)

 

[urastus]

Kicked in the nuts and mauled by a bear, slippery bums and alien violation! The hazards of mountain biking seem to be evolving faster than the sport itself . And the whole violation thing (I wouldn't want to admit to being a victim either) begs the question who or what did the violating? Was it the bear or the alien, or both? The obvious conclusion is that you were the unconscious victim of an inter species orgy We Australians, being largely philosophical, have a saying that has been serving us well; "shit happens". Really though I think that needs to be updated, unless all this is just endemic to Scotland . For you guys, I'd suggest a couple of sayings for use in different circumstances; "shit happens" and "really weird shit happens in Scotland" ? . There's probably a land based black hole nearby where you ride, something like a small land based Bermuda triangle? I'll have a go at being perspicacious - try a garlic necklace; it might at least keep the bears and aliens away , although they are both probably quite fond of you now

 

[Doug Stampfer]

Hmmm if you are having lots of accidents then surely they wouldn't be freak ones, more of your garden gnome type ordinary accidents.
However if a garden gnome was involved I would probably consider that a freak accident.
Unless of course they are always involved in your accidents then I would consider them gardeon gnome type ordinary accidents.

 

[markfitton]

Guys , you've cracked me up, I've just had an accident laughing....

 

[OldBean]

Guys , you've cracked me up, I've just had an accident laughing....

Oh dear ..new underpants needed.!:

 

[DMS2610]

To answer this for real, bet it was a tree stump. Bent pedal and crank are my symptoms.....along with a lot of pain and a separated AC joint so no riding for me for a while ???
*Had I not been wearing my GoPro, said tree stump would have also perhaps maintained anonymity but will be receiving a harsh visit from an axe next time I ride ?

 

[GrandPaBrogan]

To answer this for real, bet it was a tree stump. Bent pedal and crank are my symptoms.....along with a lot of pain and a separated AC joint so no riding for me for a while ???
*Had I not been wearing my GoPro, said tree stump would have also perhaps maintained anonymity but will be receiving a harsh visit from an axe next time I ride ?

Speaking of trees, a good friend of mine was taking a nap on his living room floor but as he woke up he wondered why there was a bunch of pine trees pointing up to his ceiling. It was dark so he stood up to turn the lights on to investigate. As he got on his feet he and his DH bike were supernaturally transported to a forest. His summer clothes were also mysteriously swapped over to his riding gear. How freaky is that?!

Thankfully there were no aliens involved, or were they? His bike as inexplicably wrapped around a tree like a piece of existential artwork! ?

Here’s what actually happened after he unraveled his mystery: He had snuck off for a ‘ride’ after work late in the afternoon when no one else was around, lost control during a downhill section, hit a tree at full speed, knocked himself out, must’ve laid unconscious for at least an hour (he reckons closer to two), and woke up on his back on the track after nightfall. He mistakenly thought he was in his living room when he came to. So he had to walk/push his rig all the way back to his work van (where he keeps his bike all the time) at the empty car park in the dark.

Still laughing when he told me the story, he said that he was so incoherent that he did the worst things one could do after a bad concussion - he drove, he didn’t go straight to a hospital, he had some beers ?? to get rid of his headache ?, then... went to bed!!??

??

 

[urastus]

Speaking of trees, a good friend of mine was taking a nap on his living room floor but as he woke up he wondered why there was a bunch of pine trees pointing up to his ceiling. It was dark so he stood up to turn the lights on to investigate. As he got on his feet he and his DH bike were supernaturally transported to a forest. His summer clothes were also mysteriously swapped over to his riding gear. How freaky is that?!

Thankfully there were no aliens involved, or were they? His bike as inexplicably wrapped around a tree like a piece of existential artwork! ?

Here’s what actually happened after he unraveled his mystery: He had snuck off for a ‘ride’ after work late in the afternoon when no one else was around, lost control during a downhill section, hit a tree at full speed, knocked himself out, must’ve laid unconscious for at least an hour (he reckons closer to two), and woke up on his back on the track after nightfall. He mistakenly thought he was in his living room when he came to. So he had to walk/push his rig all the way back to his work van (where he keeps his bike all the time) at the empty car park in the dark.

Still laughing when he told me the story, he said that he was so incoherent that he did the worst things one could do after a bad concussion - he drove, he didn’t go straight to a hospital, he had some beers ?? to get rid of his headache ?, then... went to bed!!??

??

That wasn't zimmerframe was it? He has a thing for trees ?

 

[GrandPaBrogan]

That wasn't zimmerframe was it? He has a thing for trees ?

Haha no, it wasn't @Zimmerframe.

I don't know about trees... but I do know he has a thing for horses (he's been known to video stalk them while riding his eBike)...

 

[Zimmerframe]

That wasn't zimmerframe was it? He has a thing for trees ?

I was reading that wondering if it was an adapted version of my last crash.... It's weird what the mind does... I thought I was having a nap in the garden, it felt so nice....