When birds attack

wepn

The Barking Owl ?
Jul 18, 2019
1,006
1,145
AU
Never been attacked by a magpie, arctic terns yes (accidentally walked into their nesting area on a pebble beach and was about halfway through when they started dive bombing me), but never magpies or other birds.
These are not your mild-mannered super intelligent Pica Pica Magpies.
These are aggressive Australian also super intelligent Gymnorhina tibicen Magpies mistakingly identified as Magpies by early British settlers. It stuck. They're protecting their chicks from Wedgetail Eagles and X-Wing Kenevo's. They recognise & remember human faces for life and are unlikely to swoop people they've befriended even if they're on a bike.

Is this common? I’ve never heard of it.

Do they prefer some colours to others.
It is in Australia. Not sure about that but they don't like bikes no matter what colour.

It turns out I don't have Magpie herpes (a relief cos the swoopers are all males apparently) & not necessarily severe bird brain but chiropractic mishap victim compounded by Magpie flight into head the next day. Not quite so horrible still freaking painful enough to keep me off my bike for 2 months.
 
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Fingerpuk

Member
Apr 8, 2020
250
197
Kent
Magpie herpes!

I refuse to Google to check validity because it’s more fun to believe this is true. Does everything in Australia have herpes? Bears and now birds! What next?!

Does the Magpie have for fornicate in your ear for you to catch it? In which case, full face lid is essential.
 

Pdoz

E*POWAH Elite World Champion
Feb 16, 2019
1,112
1,206
Maffra Victoria Australia
Magpie herpes!

I refuse to Google to check validity because it’s more fun to believe this is true. Does everything in Australia have herpes? Bears and now birds! What next?!

Does the Magpie have for fornicate in your ear for you to catch it? In which case, full face lid is essential.

Nah, our drop bears have chlamydia, not herpes.

BTW , wepn, I'm pretty sure that magpies consider a friendly human with a helmet on fair game for swooping. We have a multigenerational flock on our property and they're perfectly happy to hang around us with their young . But if we put helmets on during breeding season - satan takes over.
 

Pdoz

E*POWAH Elite World Champion
Feb 16, 2019
1,112
1,206
Maffra Victoria Australia
The wedge tail eagle comment brought back a memory. We have 2 eagles that regularly feast on our rabbits ( and occasionally our chickens ) . During last swooping season the poor things got stuck in the zone between the magpie nests and the golden eyes territory. Watching a 6 foot bird trying to escape from two seperate armies of vicious swoopers, I almost felt sorry for the wedgie. We haven't list a chicken since!
 

wepn

The Barking Owl ?
Jul 18, 2019
1,006
1,145
AU
put helmets on during breeding season - satan takes over.
Not with my $1.50 helmet accessories I'm pretty sure now. I'd be interested to know if they work for other Magpie admirers like myself.

magpie-muncher-1-0-jpg.39085
 

wepn

The Barking Owl ?
Jul 18, 2019
1,006
1,145
AU
Does everything in Australia have herpes? Bears and now birds! What next?
Yes. Although I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that retired sportsmen are the most over-represented in that particular cohort.
 
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maynard

E*POWAH Elite World Champion
I was determined to not be scared by a little black and white bird . Seeing as though now I am a fully grown man . And my partner told me to not be a sook . So now I just ignore them confident that my helmet will spare my scalp . Man those birds are smart. They go for your neck and ears . My helmet has scratches in it . Anyways I would like some decent scratches so I can show my girl how hard core I am
 

iXi

E*POWAH Master
Feb 17, 2019
424
321
Brisbane
Tell this poor bugger magpies are harmless


I've been swooped countless times this year, more than ever before. I'm sure people see me getting swooped think I'm a psycho as I get off my bike and throw rocks at the bastards.
 

Zimmerframe

MUPPET
Subscriber
Jun 12, 2019
14,001
20,757
Brittany, France
I'm sure people see me getting swooped think I'm a psycho as I get off my bike and throw rocks at the bastards.
Maybe throw rocks at the birds instead of the people watching ? ;) Though I suppose the magpie could witness your stone throwing attack and decide to join forces with you and see you as an ally instead ?
 

Pdoz

E*POWAH Elite World Champion
Feb 16, 2019
1,112
1,206
Maffra Victoria Australia
Magpies are getting the rocks and if people are laughing at me they are getting the rocks too ?

Magpies are smart, they can time and coordinate attacks. So next time you're bending over to pick up rocks, keep an eye out for the other magpies coming in from behind. You WILL be famous on you tube
 

Zimmerframe

MUPPET
Subscriber
Jun 12, 2019
14,001
20,757
Brittany, France
And now 2 people have had eye injuries in the same area

Wepn...word has gotten out in the magpie community about your fake eyes.....
I didn't realise he'd surgically replaced his eyes ? Does he have inbuilt laser beams now ? or magpie tracking ? I thought I was just going to wear those fancy glasses instead ?

If they only swoop heads, wouldn't it be easier to just wear a "no head" costume ??

head.jpg


Or even put a bird cage on ? Bird cages were invented thousands of years ago to protect square wheeled cyclists from magpie and pterosaurs attack. They even have a nice little opening flap so the user can still eat and drink without the need to remove their protection.

cage.jpg
 

flash

E*POWAH Elite World Champion
Patreon
Nov 24, 2018
1,050
986
Wamberal, NSW Australia
And now 2 people have had eye injuries in the same area

Wepn...word has gotten out in the magpie community about your fake eyes.....

There have been recorded deaths in the past as a result of crashes caused by Magpie attacks......

I love Aussie magpies. They're smart and have a beautiful song. There's just two months of the year I want to go out with a flame thrower.........

Gordon
 

Pdoz

E*POWAH Elite World Champion
Feb 16, 2019
1,112
1,206
Maffra Victoria Australia
There have been recorded deaths in the past as a result of crashes caused by Magpie attacks......

I love Aussie magpies. They're smart and have a beautiful song. There's just two months of the year I want to go out with a flame thrower.........

Gordon

Please don't ....the Americans still have elvis
 

wepn

The Barking Owl ?
Jul 18, 2019
1,006
1,145
AU
It turns out that heavy arsed magpie may have saved my life. The diagnosed concussion was actually a very rare blood cancer, WM. If it wasn't for the magpie, I may have continued on oblivious to passing the 70% bone marrow threshold. As it was presented to me, the more likely scenario was a terrible one, MM. Fortunately it was Wäldenstrom's which is being, so far, successfully treated with monoclonals & immunotherapy.

I❤️magpies
 

Zimmerframe

MUPPET
Subscriber
Jun 12, 2019
14,001
20,757
Brittany, France
Blimey !!! What amazingly great bad news ! ?!?!?!?!??!?! ??? !! ??!

Never stumbled across that before : Waldenström's macroglobulinemia - Wikipedia

One interesting side effect is the increase in penal mass and the advice for frequent relief.

OK, I made that bit up, but lets face it, we all find things like this awkward to talk about .

Great news that you're receiving treatment. Probably too early to get a better idea of long term on it at the moment ?

I would ordinarily advise the purchase of a new emtb to make yourself feel better, but you already have the best one so you're screwed there I'm afraid. It's just a continual trail of good bad news for you today.
 

urastus

⚡The Whippet⚡
May 4, 2020
1,548
995
Tasmania
In defense of the magpie, and not trying to make light of wepn's injuries - they do have an awesome song. Ever since I was a kid I've known people who have befriended them. R2D2 is an awesome name for that particular magpie :ROFLMAO:

 
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