Unlucky end to a good ride

steve_sordy

Wedding Crasher
Nov 5, 2018
9,021
9,463
Lincolnshire, UK
I'd had a good ride out and was driving out of the car park, when I felt a slight vibration. Then I noticed that my bike wasn't on the bike rack! It was still attached by the wheel straps, but the bar was dragging on the road! YIKES. :eek:

Yes, I'd done it AGAIN, forgotten to use the Gorilla strap on the clamp that holds the top tube. That's another grip with the end worn off at 45deg! Luckily, no other damage. But what a stupid boy I am!! o_O Yes I'll repeat that, a stupid boy indeed. :(

I thought to myself how lucky I was that I hadn't driven over one of the many sleeping policemen on the internal roads around the car park. Any one of them would have ripped the bike clean off the rack! Or ripped something off the bike. :eek:

I was still thinking about this when I felt a couple of rapid jolts and more vibration. A quick check in the rearview and the bike was still there. Hmm, what could it be? I took my hands off the wheel and the steering pulled to the left. Felt like a flat tyre. I pulled off the road as soon as it was safe, to find that I had two flat tyres on the near side (left in the UK). No external damage to the alloys. No foot pump and only one spare wheel. I have been a member of the RAC (vehicle recovery outfit in the UK) for 41 years and they told me 4-5 HOURS!!!:mad: I guess I was a low priority as I had no young children with me, was not ill or disabled, not female, and the car was not parked in a dangerous place. But I was cold and damp! :(

So I phoned the tyre depot in Grantham about 40 miles away that I have been using for over 30 years. They had a van in the area, about 10 miles away. All he had to do was to collect two tyres from somewhere else, also about 10 miles away. So within an hour of that call I was receiving help. The alloys were not damaged at all, but the tyres were trashed (that half mile driven whilst flat did for them). Two new tyres: 19" x 255/35 96Y, fitted plus callout etc £382.56 I couldn't get the brand of tyres I wanted, but at least they had some!

In total, I got home 3 hours later than planned. Lets hear if for Tanvic Tyres (Grantham and Melton Mowbray) :love:. Big thanks to Dean for organising the call out and to Nick for responding. :love:

PS: When I rang back the RAC to cancel the callout, I discovered that they had automated the cancellation. It would appear that the RAC responses times have become so poor that members are cancelling the callout because they have found a quicker solution. There must be a lot of cancellations for it to be worth automating the cancellation procedure. :unsure:
!
 

ImSundee

Well-known member
Jan 20, 2020
328
315
Oxford
Ouch doesn't sound like the best day! Glad you got it all sorted tho.

I'd really recommend checking your bars after that, Even personally would replace them, you never know what damage could be hiding under the clamps
 

NULevo

Well-known member
Nov 7, 2019
539
341
Nottingham
I'd had a good ride out and was driving out of the car park, when I felt a slight vibration. Then I noticed that my bike wasn't on the bike rack! It was still attached by the wheel straps, but the bar was dragging on the road! YIKES. :eek:

Yes, I'd done it AGAIN, forgotten to use the Gorilla strap on the clamp that holds the top tube. That's another grip with the end worn off at 45deg! Luckily, no other damage. But what a stupid boy I am!! o_O Yes I'll repeat that, a stupid boy indeed. :(

I thought to myself how lucky I was that I hadn't driven over one of the many sleeping policemen on the internal roads around the car park. Any one of them would have ripped the bike clean off the rack! Or ripped something off the bike. :eek:

I was still thinking about this when I felt a couple of rapid jolts and more vibration. A quick check in the rearview and the bike was still there. Hmm, what could it be? I took my hands off the wheel and the steering pulled to the left. Felt like a flat tyre. I pulled off the road as soon as it was safe, to find that I had two flat tyres on the near side (left in the UK). No external damage to the alloys. No foot pump and only one spare wheel. I have been a member of the RAC (vehicle recovery outfit in the UK) for 41 years and they told me 4-5 HOURS!!!:mad: I guess I was a low priority as I had no young children with me, was not ill or disabled, not female, and the car was not parked in a dangerous place. But I was cold and damp! :(

So I phoned the tyre depot in Grantham about 40 miles away that I have been using for over 30 years. They had a van in the area, about 10 miles away. All he had to do was to collect two tyres from somewhere else, also about 10 miles away. So within an hour of that call I was receiving help. The alloys were not damaged at all, but the tyres were trashed (that half mile driven whilst flat did for them). Two new tyres: 19" x 255/35 96Y, fitted plus callout etc £382.56 I couldn't get the brand of tyres I wanted, but at least they had some!

In total, I got home 3 hours later than planned. Lets hear if for Tanvic Tyres (Grantham and Melton Mowbray) :love:. Big thanks to Dean for organising the call out and to Nick for responding. :love:

PS: When I rang back the RAC to cancel the callout, I discovered that they had automated the cancellation. It would appear that the RAC responses times have become so poor that members are cancelling the callout because they have found a quicker solution. There must be a lot of cancellations for it to be worth automating the cancellation procedure. :unsure:
!


Bad luck Steve, at least you got sorted pretty sharpish and not too much damage to your bike
 

Mikerb

E*POWAH Elite World Champion
May 16, 2019
6,570
5,064
Weymouth
you need a strategy! I have twice loaded the bike into the van and arrived at my riding venue only to find I had not loaded the front wheel. ( the bike is stored on fork mount and carried in the van on a fixed fork mount).
So now whether my bike is stored in the garage ( summer) or indoors ( winter) the front wheel is loosely strapped to the bike and my rule is that the wheel gets loaded into the van first!
So a strategy for you............Tie some red rag to the gorilla strap.........whenever the bike is taken off the rack attach the gorilla strap to the rack. Or.......get some white card and write " Gorilla" on it and stick it in a prominent place on the dash of the car.
Or......buy another bike as a spare in case your existing bike falls off and you do not even notice!!
 

HORSPWR

E*POWAH Master
May 23, 2019
853
680
Alice Springs, Australia
Well that was a costly day for the bike and car, but twice now for the bike?

You need one of these for the car tyres and a compressor:
Motorcycle/car Accessories Tubeless Tyre Puncture Repair Kit Needle Tire Plug for sale online | eBay

Saved me numerous times, most times I can have the puncture repaired before the tyre looses half of it's pressure.

I don't know what brand of tyres you run but going back a few years I had a flat on one of my high performance low profile tyres on my FPV F6 and I didn't even know, I drove around town, across railway lines, even gave it some spirited driving for about 8ks before I noticed it when I got out. Changed it and took it to a tyre shop who dismounted it and they said it was undamaged and fine to use. They were $500 AUD tyres though.
 

Mikerb

E*POWAH Elite World Champion
May 16, 2019
6,570
5,064
Weymouth
That one doesn't but my Mustang does, which also saved me a few months ago too!
yep...I was being facetious! My BMW has tyre pressure monitoring but also run flats so no bother either way! My T5 is more basic.....just steel ply commercial tyres that will run over anything!
 

steve_sordy

Wedding Crasher
Nov 5, 2018
9,021
9,463
Lincolnshire, UK
Your car does not tell you about lost tyre pressure? Not good!

The car does have a warning system. But it does not monitor tyre pressure, instead it monitors how the wheel behaves whilst driving. As soon as I felt something was wrong, I slowed down and stopped quite quickly. This must have robbed the system of the data it needed. I do know however that the tyre fitter didn't inflate the tyres to the same pressures that I had been using because the system warned me on the way home! :LOL:
 

KennyB

E*POWAH Master
Aug 25, 2019
824
564
Taunton
The car does have a warning system. But it does not monitor tyre pressure, instead it monitors how the wheel behaves whilst driving. As soon as I felt something was wrong, I slowed down and stopped quite quickly. This must have robbed the system of the data it needed. I do know however that the tyre fitter didn't inflate the tyres to the same pressures that I had been using because the system warned me on the way home! :LOL:
My Honda Civic needs to be reset after a tyre change to prevent false alarms. Not sure it's just about pressure. Procedure is in the handbook, but I'm the kind of guy that gets the handbook as soon as the sale is agreed and reads it from cover to cover before I collect the car (or Levo).
 

steve_sordy

Wedding Crasher
Nov 5, 2018
9,021
9,463
Lincolnshire, UK
.......... I'm the kind of guy that gets the handbook as soon as the sale is agreed and reads it from cover to cover before I collect the car (or Levo).

Yep, me too!

I miss the basics though. The handbook used to have a description of the engine and gearbox "..V6 double OHC transverse mounted, supported on.....!" These days it doesn't even say what sort of automatic gearbox you have. :(

Has anyone else still got the Haynes car manuals? For those below a certain age, they were hard backed large format books with complete instructions, plus diagrams and photos of how to do just about every single job that could possibly be done in your own garage. With one of those I removed the engine from a Triumph 1300, stripped it down and sent the block off for a crankshaft regrind, cylinders bored out, oversize pistons fitted, new piston shells, and some welding to the clutch housing thrust mounts. Then built it all back up again, lapping in the valves while I was at it. The first time I drove the car, when I pulled up at the traffic lights, the car was so quiet I thought it had stopped!
 

GrahamPaul

E*POWAH Elite World Champion
Nov 6, 2019
1,127
1,088
Andalucía
Has anyone else still got the Haynes car manuals?

Oh memories! The Haynes Manual... it brought a whole new meaning to the English language..

"gently ease" => hit it with a hammer​
"firmly turn" => hit it with a bigger hammer​
"carefully remove" => hit it with a rubber hammer​
First time I tried to fix my old A1300, I was surprised at the number of different sized hammers I needed. Haynes happily ignored the tradition of added rust among the original UK motor manufacturers. :ROFLMAO:
 

Doomanic

🛠️Wrecker🛠️
Patreon
Founding Member
Jan 21, 2018
8,735
10,401
UK
Those Haynes manuals would have been more realistic if they used cars with a couple years worth of road grime all over the chassis, plus notations like "These bolts were done up bastard tight at the factory and will be rusted solid" and "You'll need fingers with 17 joints to reach the bottom fastener (which was done up bastard tight at the factory and will be rusted solid)"
 

steve_sordy

Wedding Crasher
Nov 5, 2018
9,021
9,463
Lincolnshire, UK
Oh memories! The Haynes Manual... it brought a whole new meaning to the English language..

"gently ease" => hit it with a hammer​
"firmly turn" => hit it with a bigger hammer​
.......

The REAL meaning of the Haynes instructions;

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.

Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?

Haynes: Should remove easily.

Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.

Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: This is a tight fit.

Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...

Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

Haynes: Pry...

Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...

Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (industrial size).

Haynes: Ease ...

Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...

Haynes: Retain tiny spring...

Translation: "Crikey what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!

Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...

Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.

Haynes: Lightly...

Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".

Haynes: Weekly checks...

Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!

Haynes: Routine maintenance...

Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!

Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).

Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?

Haynes: Two spanner rating.

Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).

Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).

Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.

Haynes: Four spanner rating.

Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!

Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).

Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!!

Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.

Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...

Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Haynes: Compress...

Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "******" repeatedly under your breath.

Haynes: Inspect...

Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!

Haynes: Carefully...

Translation: You are about to cut yourself!

Haynes: Retaining nut...

Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.

Haynes: Get an assistant...

Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.

Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.

Translation: But you swear in different places.

Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...

Translation: Snap off...

Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...

Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!

Haynes: Everyday toolkit

Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...

Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.

Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.

Haynes: Apply moderate heat...

Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Index

Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!

Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain spanner or length of bicycle chain.

Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.

Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.

Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.

Haynes: Grease well before refitting.

Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid. Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.

Haynes: See illustration for details

Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model.

Is it just me or are they really funny? :love::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 

steve_sordy

Wedding Crasher
Nov 5, 2018
9,021
9,463
Lincolnshire, UK
And if you liked those, some more hilarity!

HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

MOLE-GRIPS/ADJUSTABLE spanner: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake-drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls in about the time it takes you to say, "F...."

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front wing.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.

BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.

TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.

TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

INSPECTION LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper- and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a fossil-fuel burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact spanner that grips rusty bolts last tightened 30 years ago by someone in Dagenham, and rounds them off.

PRY (CROW) BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 pence part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
 

CjP

PRIME TIME
Subscriber
Jan 1, 2019
1,671
2,394
Everywhere
With one of those I removed the engine from a Triumph 1300, stripped it down and sent the block off for a crankshaft regrind, cylinders bored out, oversize pistons fitted, new piston shells, and some welding to the clutch housing thrust mounts. Then built it all back up again, lapping in the valves while I was at it.
and yet you forgot to strap the bike down ?

Ive still got my Suzuki Sierra Haynes book. They were my favourite books growing up. Who needed a dodgy mechanic when Haynes was your best friend.
 

CjP

PRIME TIME
Subscriber
Jan 1, 2019
1,671
2,394
Everywhere
Now there's a thought... I wonder what a Haynes Manual for bike transportation attachment would look like :whistle:
Something like this?

FCC03B03-6AA8-411E-9267-30472328DDB3.jpeg
 

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