Moral Dilemma

[Howz]

Opinions welcome….

let’s say that you do a deal to buy an item that is for sale on this forum, you agree a price and the item is collection only which is fine at the time, then circumstances change so can’t collect, the seller then agrees to meet up with you in a few weeks to do the deal, you offer to bank transfer the cash a few times, but the seller says it’s ok we can sort that out when we meet.

You then get a message from the seller to say he’s sorry, but he’s had a better offer!

 

[Mteam]

That's life, if I was the seller I'd do the same.

 

[Zimmerframe]

Tricky, but it's a fluid situation.

You could equally have said "Sorry, I've found a better deal" at any point - leaving the seller in the lurch who might have turned away other interested parties in the meantime.

It's possibly you could even have made the bank transfer, but then asked for the money back - we have seen that before on here.

 

[Jimbo Vills]

If I’ve ‘shaken hands’ on a deal. Even online and agreed a price.That’s agreed.

I wouldn’t back out of the deal or sell for more.

I’d be pissed if that happened to me tbh. Specially as you offered to pay

 

[Clubby]

Could be said that you backed out of the deal first. Either way, put it down as an annoyance and move on. Life is too short to bother about stuff like that

 

[Zimmerframe]

If I’ve ‘shaken hands’ on a deal. Even online and agreed a price.That’s agreed.

I wouldn’t back out of the deal or sell for more.

I’d be pissed if that happened to me tbh. Specially as you offered to pay

In an ideal world, that would always be the case. If it's someone you know to some degree, you'd hope the moral rules apply.

Unfortunately, we now live in a world where people don't seem to have the same morals, respects, values in life. (Not making any references to the buyer or the seller).

I've lost track of the number of times over the last couple of years where buyers just don't turn up and you never hear from them again, even though they "definitely wanted it".

From the buyers perspective, it totally sucks - especially if you are honest and you having it whatever and considered the deal done. I guess whenever in that situation, you need to get your ass there ASAP and have it in your hands if you want something.

From the sellers perspective, maybe they've been burnt before, maybe the whole thing had gone on longer than they'd hoped. Some people also don't like to take money before hand too as they feel uncomfortable.

I guess if there's a "moral" downfall, it's that they sold it because they got a better offer. But then they were honest about that and could have lied.

Just an opinion .. and like assholes, we all have one

 

[Doomanic]

If I’ve ‘shaken hands’ on a deal. Even online and agreed a price. That’s agreed.

In an ideal world, that would always be the case.

I've been burnt enough times as both a buyer and a seller that an item is only bought/sold once the money/item have changed hands. Not on here, it has to be said; all my dealings on here have been very good.

 

[Jimbo Vills]

In an ideal world, that would always be the case. If it's someone you know to some degree, you'd hope the moral rules apply.

Unfortunately, we now live in a world where people don't seem to have the same morals, respects, values in life. (Not making any references to the buyer or the seller).

I've lost track of the number of times over the last couple of years where buyers just don't turn up and you never hear from them again, even though they "definitely wanted it".

From the buyers perspective, it totally sucks - especially if you are honest and you having it whatever and considered the deal done. I guess whenever in that situation, you need to get your ass there ASAP and have it in your hands if you want something.

From the sellers perspective, maybe they've been burnt before, maybe the whole thing had gone on longer than they'd hoped. Some people also don't like to take money before hand too as they feel uncomfortable.

I guess if there's a "moral" downfall, it's that they sold it because they got a better offer. But then they were honest about that and could have lied.

Just an opinion .. and like assholes, we all have one

hear what you are saying mate and totally understand the other perspective. Although as you point out, the seller in this case sold for a better offer. Which isn’t cool.

he could have said it’s taken too long to collect, however if the buyer offered payment in full till he could get there, then the decent thing imo would be to hold it for them....

guess I’m lucky enough to spend most of my time in the real world where 99% of the time. A hand shake and a deal is honoured.

but hey ho, like you say. More important things to get stressed about

 

[RustyIron]

There are TWO different issues at play.

First, I'll start by stating unequivocally that "a deal's a deal." Once a verbal agreement has been made, it's set in stone. There's no changing your mind because a better deal came up.

BUT... it seems as if you were the first one to break the original agreement. Extenuating circumstances or not, you didn't show up with a handful of cash at the originally agreed upon time. The seller can't be expected to hold on to the item for some undefined point in time.

From what you've said, I don't think that the seller was in the wrong. Maybe the "better deal" was getting the item out of his garage.

 

[RustyMTB]

It's just business & in business, ethics is a county next to Thuffolk. Forget it & move on.

 

[stiv674]

It's me the OP is referring to, we had previously made a 'deal' just after Christmas, he then backed out because it was a hassle arranging collection, which was fair enough, but if he wanted it badly enough then he could have made the effort to collect.

I then remembered that I was planning on going to Cannock during January so could meet him there, we then agreed (again). I didn't want to take any money as no date had been agreed on, I didn't want to have to issue a refund at a later date if it didn't happen.

It wasn't done intentionally and I've apologised as I would be annoyed if the situation was reversed, but these things happen.

I sold a bike (not on here) for £1500 last year, a week after receiving payment and the night before we were to meet to exchange, he backed out and asked for a refund, that was annoying but I moved on.

 

[Zimmerframe]

I have you can both accept that there's always different perspectives at play and often more going on behind the scenes, put it behind you and both move on without any animosity or bad feelings.

As others have said, it's still just a bike .. maybe fate will deliver something just as good or better.

 

[Howz]

I’ve calmed down now, it doesn’t matter anymore, just for the record I did say I would come and collect, but the days that I suggested you said you couldn’t make.

just a bit disappointed as I (wrongly) thought that a deal was a deal and that the majority of people on here had higher morals and ethics as opposed to the likes of eBay.

thread closed as far as I am concerned, I will live and learn for the future.