If bikes could talk………

[billwarwick]

……….what would yours say?
mine would say…’Aww, you’re not going to make me wear that fecking ugly mudguard for the next 6 months are you?

 

[Stihldog]

More importantly would be the voice. My Marilyn Monroe sounding bike voice would constantly encourage me to go faster. …then go slower.

 

[RickBullotta]

They would say "get your sweaty ass crack off of me".

 

[Hobo Mikey]

Get off you fat bastard.

 

[The EMF]

FFs……..I’d buy a horse…

 

[RebornRider]

Mine would definitely say "Stop looking at the scary obstacle! Look where you want to go!"

But I probably wouldn't listen.

 

[Doomanic]

"One at a time please, I'm not a fucking tandem!"

 

[Zimmerframe]

I think mine would just be silent and depressed from endless abuse. Probably willing it's tyres or to be flat, or faking a flat battery and wishing for a doctors note.

 

[The EMF]

I think mine would just be silent and depressed from endless abuse. Probably willing it's tyres or to be flat, or faking a flat battery and wishing for a doctors note.

Or a bit of peace and quiet please

 

[Doomanic]

For sure. If he just shut up for a day…..

I suggested the very same thing yesterday but he just doesn't listen. Probably couldn't hear me over the babble coming out of his own gob...

 

[RustyIron]

At the beginning of a ride:
RIDE ME HARD, YOU BASTARD!

At the end of a ride:
WHAT? IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?

 

[NULevo]

"FFS Learn how to ride me properly or get a road bike and some Lycra"

 

[leftside]

"You're s hit. I can go much faster than this"

 

[Pdoz]

Mine whines .

 

[Stihldog]

Mine whines .

Doug & Wendy Whiner (SNL). Really nice for those long rides.

 

[Beekeeper]

Mine would say “turn me off you cheater”

 

[Pdoz]

Mine would say “turn me off you cheater”

So she's whining when I turn her on BECAUSE I'm a cheater ? Is it ok I feel good about that?

 

[aviserated]

Do not ride faster than your skills and hurt yourself. Your out of control and do not know it.

 

[The Hodge]

Are those padded shorts you're wearing ...or are you just pleased to see me ..

 

[Timochka69]

Somersault OTB and landing on your butt is what you get for smashing my pedal into a tree stump at full assist speed. Teaches you not to go for KOMs, you old git.

 

[Rotwilder]

Just put me on turbo once more and I’ll flatten my battery!

 

[Tim1023]

FFs……..I’d buy a horse…

 

[B1rdie]

The ebike would say
I’m glad you left me home
Now I am glad I can not listen what my hardtail thinks abou this: