How far does a can of Guinness go?

[steve_sordy]

Last night at 9:30 in the evening, I got myself a can from the beer fridge and decided to top up the fridge from the stash in the lobby. When the door into the lobby is opened, my beer stash is behind the door. When that door is fully opened the lobby is reduced in size to 6'x 3'.

I dropped a can and when it hit the floor, it exploded! Guinness went everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE! Both doors, both walls, the ceiling, the light fitting, the lampshade, my slippers, socks, trousers, fleece, shirt, hands, face, specs, and hair. Even my hearing aids! And, of course, the entrance mat. The matt-painted ceiling and walls looked on the verge of permanent staining with the black liquid. I grabbed a towel and yelled for my wife to come and assist. It took about half an hour but we got everywhere wiped dry of Guinness and then washed with clean water and dried again. I took the entrance mat outside and dumped it in the garage to deal with the next day.

As I returned and stepped into the utility room, I could see long splashes of Guinness had got past me and had spread across the floor in a ray pattern! Oh bugger!

Eventually all was done, all the towels had gone in the washing machine and all my clothes were piled up on top waiting for the next wash.

I was not my wife's favourite person for a while. But hey, accidents can happen to anyone and she is still speaking to me.

The answer to the title question is that a can of Guinness can go a VERY long way!

This morning there was no lingering smell of beer; happy wife. Result!

 

[Stihldog]

Last night at 9:30 in the evening, I got myself a can from the beer fridge and decided to top up the fridge from the stash in the lobby. When the door into the lobby is opened, my beer stash is behind the door. When that door is fully opened the lobby is reduced in size to 6'x 3'.

I dropped a can and when it hit the floor, it exploded! Guinness went everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE! Both doors, both walls, the ceiling, the light fitting, the lampshade, my slippers, socks, trousers, fleece, shirt, hands, face, specs, and hair. Even my hearing aids! And, of course, the entrance mat. The matt-painted ceiling and walls looked on the verge of permanent staining with the black liquid. I grabbed a towel and yelled for my wife to come and assist. It took about half an hour but we got everywhere wiped dry of Guinness and then washed with clean water and dried again. I took the entrance mat outside and dumped it in the garage to deal with the next day.

As I returned and stepped into the utility room, I could see long splashes of Guinness had got past me and had spread across the floor in a ray pattern! Oh bugger!

Eventually all was done, all the towels had gone in the washing machine and all my clothes were piled up on top waiting for the next wash.

I was not my wife's favourite person for a while. But hey, accidents can happen to anyone and she is still speaking to me.

The answer to the title question is that a can of Guinness can go a VERY long way!

This morning there was no lingering smell of beer; happy wife. Result!

Whoa …how large are those cans? Thank goodness you’re ok I CAN’t imagine the mess (no pun intended)

 

[Bones]

Last night at 9:30 in the evening, I got myself a can from the beer fridge and decided to top up the fridge from the stash in the lobby. When the door into the lobby is opened, my beer stash is behind the door. When that door is fully opened the lobby is reduced in size to 6'x 3'.

I dropped a can and when it hit the floor, it exploded! Guinness went everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE! Both doors, both walls, the ceiling, the light fitting, the lampshade, my slippers, socks, trousers, fleece, shirt, hands, face, specs, and hair. Even my hearing aids! And, of course, the entrance mat. The matt-painted ceiling and walls looked on the verge of permanent staining with the black liquid. I grabbed a towel and yelled for my wife to come and assist. It took about half an hour but we got everywhere wiped dry of Guinness and then washed with clean water and dried again. I took the entrance mat outside and dumped it in the garage to deal with the next day.

As I returned and stepped into the utility room, I could see long splashes of Guinness had got past me and had spread across the floor in a ray pattern! Oh bugger!

Eventually all was done, all the towels had gone in the washing machine and all my clothes were piled up on top waiting for the next wash.

I was not my wife's favourite person for a while. But hey, accidents can happen to anyone and she is still speaking to me.

The answer to the title question is that a can of Guinness can go a VERY long way!

This morning there was no lingering smell of beer; happy wife. Result!

Zero or full strength

 

[The Hodge]

Eventually all was done, all the towels ( after wringing them out into a pint glass )had gone in the washing machine

^^^
Surely you omitted ( in brackets) this from the original txt ..so I fixed it for you

 

[steve_sordy]

It has been raining ever since, so the entrance mat has been in the garage. I'll jet wash it on Monday when we have some sunshine forecasted. By the way, never use a dry towel as an entrance mat on a smooth polished surface; I nearly did the splits this morning!

@Stihldog and @Bones To answer your questions:
The Guinness can was a standard 500ml can of normal (4.1%) strength Guinness, containing a widget that takes up 60ml. The declared contents are 440ml. (0.774 UK pint and 0.930 US pint)

@The Hodge No, I was not tempted to wring out the towels, although I do know someone who spilled the last miniature bottle of whiskey in his hotel room. He promptly sucked it up from the carpet with a biro tube!
He reckoned that the alcohol would sterilise whatever was resident in the manky carpet! However, it was this act of desperation that finally convinced him that he had a problem with alcohol. He has been alcohol-free ever since.

 

[Stihldog]

The Guinness can was a standard 500ml can of normal (4.1%) strength Guinness, containing a widget that takes up 60ml.

600ml! Holy crap…how big are you people? We must be the victims of shrink-flation. 355ml is the norm here.

It has been raining ever since, so the entrance mat has been in the garage. I'll jet wash it on Monday when we have some sunshine forecasted.

We’ve had two atmospheric rivers in the past two days here. @KnollyBro can probably confirm this…unless he’s still swimming from the voting station. (Provincial vote yesterday).

Our street looked like a raging river and some of our MTB trails have likely changed direction (to be determined).

Steve…I’ve never done the splits before …, and don’t you guys have wet-vacs over there?

 

[Gareth]

Yeah I’ve done that with a can of Irn Bru, dropped it and it burst, bounced a couple of times spraying its contents like a pressure washer before rolling along the floor still gashing bru everywhere. Spent over an hour cleaning it up.

We must be the victims of shrink-flation. 355ml is the norm here.

We get pint cans of Nitro Flow Guinness here 568.26ml I think. Love a pint of Guinness or two or…….

 

[steve_sordy]

@Stihldog 500ml cans not 600ml. Allowing for the widget it's only 440ml. But you can buy 600ml cans of all sorts of beers, ciders and lagers of various strengths up to blindness level. Larger unit volumes can be bought in bottles. And, of course, you can buy a UK pint of Guinness in many pubs throughout the UK.

Wet-vacs: Of course we have wet-vacs in little old England, we are not savages. I consulted my resident domestic engineer and she says that we don't need one. She prefers steam cleaners for hard surfaces. If I bought a wet-vac in a misguided attempt to ingratiate myself with her, I would end up using it myself!

I suggested a steam cleaner for the entrance mat and just got a withering look. So it's the jet wash for me. I suspect it's my punishment!

 

[The Hodge]

While reading Steve's latest reply ..I was thinking absorbent paper towels when an advert came on TV for said product which my missus said out loud .." Blitz Regina"
I got a hell of a slap when I tried to take advantage of what I thought she'd said ..

 

[Nicho]

Last night at 9:30 in the evening, I got myself a can from the beer fridge and decided to top up the fridge from the stash in the lobby. When the door into the lobby is opened, my beer stash is behind the door. When that door is fully opened the lobby is reduced in size to 6'x 3'.

I dropped a can and when it hit the floor, it exploded! Guinness went everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE! Both doors, both walls, the ceiling, the light fitting, the lampshade, my slippers, socks, trousers, fleece, shirt, hands, face, specs, and hair. Even my hearing aids! And, of course, the entrance mat. The matt-painted ceiling and walls looked on the verge of permanent staining with the black liquid. I grabbed a towel and yelled for my wife to come and assist. It took about half an hour but we got everywhere wiped dry of Guinness and then washed with clean water and dried again. I took the entrance mat outside and dumped it in the garage to deal with the next day.

As I returned and stepped into the utility room, I could see long splashes of Guinness had got past me and had spread across the floor in a ray pattern! Oh bugger!

Eventually all was done, all the towels had gone in the washing machine and all my clothes were piled up on top waiting for the next wash.

I was not my wife's favourite person for a while. But hey, accidents can happen to anyone and she is still speaking to me.

The answer to the title question is that a can of Guinness can go a VERY long way!

This morning there was no lingering smell of beer; happy wife. Result!

You must have been ready for a nice Guinness after all that!

 

[Stihldog]

You must have been ready for a nice Guinness after all that!

…or 2. I was thinking the same.

 

[Hobo Mikey]

How far does a Guinness go. For me it goes from my lips to my gut.

 

[RustyIron]

I was not my wife's favourite person for a while. But hey, accidents can happen to anyone and she is still speaking to me.

On the bright side, you were spared the horror of having to consume that insipid Irish swill. Hopefully you celebrated by going down to the pub and rewarding yourself with some good ale.

 

[steve_sordy]

On the bright side, you were spared the horror of having to consume that insipid Irish swill. Hopefully you celebrated by going down to the pub and rewarding yourself with some good ale.

I accept that Guinness is too sophisticated a taste for many, but that's life!
As for going down the pub, my village hasn't had a pub for 20 years and none within sensible walking distance.
So, unless I get the car out, it's cans or bottles.