Confessions from the Fwits

[imax]

Decide to remove my rear wheel and leaving the chain on so I can replace my gorilla rim tape with the green one.
When the wheel came off as I turned my back I heard the chain-derailleur cocking noise like someone just loaded a weapon. Dodging the bullet I do the complete Tannus Armour rear wheel manoeuvres successfully.

Go to replace the rear wheel and find the chain has done an impossible upside-down twisted loop. Confinced I can crack the puzzle on an upside-down MTB without removing the chain I end up 20mins later feeling like a total imbecile. The derailleur had no spring action so I concluded its has broken and needs to be replaced with my spare Shimano XT derailleur still not explaining the twisted X chain.

Remove the chain and yes the derailleur is acting unusual with no spring action. Remove it and found the stoper that prevents the derailleur from doing a backflip was missing.

WTF how long have i been riding without one after stupidly noticing the derailleur was touching the cassette when removing the chain? Bang Bang endup with a hole in my head.

 

[steve_sordy]

Thanks FW No 1.

Time to replace the headset bearings.
I put the bike on the work stand with the work area at a nice height for me.
Removed the stem cap, then undid the stem clamp bolts.
I turned to put the cap and stem bolts in a safe place.
Bang! The whole front of the bike fell off!
Despite being an apprentice trained engineer, I was taken by surprise!
FW No 2

 

[Stihldog]

FW No 3.
Was about to start a brake bleed on a newly installed MT7 hydraulic system. The front brakes were first. I filled the syringe with 30-40ml of Royal Blood and quickly attached the flexible tube and adapter to the calliper. I began the transfer of mineral oil to the system by depressing the plunger on the syringe. Hmmm?

Seemed a little difficult. I’ll press the plunger a little harder. Hmmm? This is a tough one. More force I guess. And…one more time with even more force. Boom! (Not the exact sound but the result was like a small explosion).
There was mineral oil everywhere. On the floor, on the bike, in my mouth, in my eyes, on the dog, etc. WTF .
It seems I didn’t remove the plunger of the syringe at the master cylinder. 30-40ml of royal blood left the syringe …instantly. The flexible tube connection could’ve resist the pressure I was applying. This was a face-palm moment.

 

[Doomanic]

This was a face-palm moment.

I hope you wiped your hands first...

 

[Slymobi]

Think I can add this to the fwit section I'm blown away !! I was under the impression that larger chainring and larger rear cog was the easiest ( granny ) gear until I was made aware that smaller chainring and large rear cog is the easiest ( granny ) gear !! FML My whole life was shattered.

 

[steve_sordy]

@Slymobi Me being a mechanical engineer, your FW seems to be the biggest of them all.

But then when you know something for sure and feel as though you have always known it, then it can be difficult to appreciate that others may not see it the same way. People with perfect pitch take ages to comprehend that other people don't have that gift. In my schooldays, kids with Dyslexia were seen as thick (poor sods). For myself, I am not musical (can't play, can't sing) and I can't remember people's names without a big and conscious effort. I can draw technical stuff and I interpret 2D drawings to make a drawing in 3D, but I cannot "draw" live things without causing huge laughter. I do have a very strong visual memory and I can remember trails all over the forest and how they link together. I can plan a complex project step by step in my head and then draw or write down the project plan and establish the critical path. I "got" Maths, Physics, Tech Drawing, Metalwork, Business Studies etc without too much effort, but not History, English Literature, Art or Geography. I totally sucked at Music and struggled to get more than 25% in the exams for it. I can swim like a fish and love watersports, but I'm crap at ball games (lack of hand to eye coordination?).

My gift for languages is almost non-existent (I had to do French for 7 years, but never progressed beyond what I learned after two years). One of my work colleagues was a Belgian; he said that he spoke five languages (English, French, Dutch, German, Flemish). But those were just the ones he was fluent in! He also spoke good Spanish, Russian, Arabic and Mandarin! FFS!!!
He wasn't a translator for a living, he just used the languages to help him do his job (Global Transport Manager). I have been in a meeting with him when he was speaking English and French to two other people in the room whilst holding a conversation in Dutch on the telephone. With the amount of space that all those languages must have taken up in his brain, I used to wonder what he had to lose to make room. He was not very social, had little spatial awareness, and was a grumpy bastard, so maybe that was it!

We will all have our FW moments, mine was suggesting that fitting smaller diameter wheels to a bike would reduce the wheelbase. I KNOW it doesn't, have always known it wouldn't, but I still wrote it and posted it! aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!! I blame the beer.

 

[Slymobi]

Haha, makes me wonder now if I actually needed the emtb to get up them hills I struggled with on the analog lol. When it was brought to my attention it made total sense and I really can't figure out why I had not even noticed when using a 2x or 3x ! Hey at least I'm honest I could have easily said someone once told me.....

 

[steve_sordy]

................... Hey at least I'm honest I could have easily said someone once told me.....

In my early days of MTB (2008-10) never thought about "compression damping" because no bike I was ever likely to afford (or want, to be honest) would have it. So I never bothered to understand something that was as mythical as unicorns for me. But then, in 2011, I saw this Kona Dawg Supreme being sold at a massive discount, just when I was about fed up with my Giant Anthem X2 (100mm XC full suss). The Dawg was a 150mm travel "All Mountain" FS and was a massive step up in capability for my riding. But it came with adjustable compression damping. Oh Christ, what do I do with that? So I set it to half way and ignored it as it didn't seem to do anything noticeable. But I had a week in the French Alps coming up in 2012 and I thought I ought to find out what it was supposed to do. I read the stuff on the internet and asked questions on the MBR Forum (now defunct). Suddenly I came across a post by a forum member who seemed to be respected by the others. He had raced DH, ran an LBS, had been a race mechanic for one of the big teams and so forth. He replied to one of my questions and I TOTALLY misunderstood what he was telling me. My fault, not his.

So when I went for that week in the Alps, I wound the fork up to maximum compression damping! The fork was almost as rigid as a rock! I like to think that I am an intelligent guy and with lots of mechanical sympathy. I am an apprentice trained mechanical engineer and I even have a degree in the subject. But as I said, I TOTALLY misunderstood what the guy was trying to tell me. So despite being shook to bits on all those rough trails, I did not even attempt to reduce the compression damping. It ruined the holiday. I still cannot understand why I never even attempted to adjust the fork. The realisation that I had got it wrong did not occur to me until after I got back and rode my regular trail for the first time. DOH! What a dickhead! A proper FWIT in fact!

 

[Tubby G]

I like this thread and enjoy the dumb f*ck stories! I’ve been trying hard to think of a stupid moment I’ve done myself to contribute but the only thing I can think of is running brake pads down to the bare metal and wondering why my bike won’t stop! I’m sure we’ve all done that though, haven’t we ?