What motor system do you plan to have on your e-bike? With Shimano I would go to XT Linkglide, simply for the ease of integration (and for EP801 having option for freeshift and autoshift).
With Bosch I would go for SRAM GX ASX as you can get dummy battery for your derailleur connected to Bosch...
Yes, with eMax software you just mark the electronic shifting and it is done. It is possible to do even with the software without licence. But you have to do it via the cable connection, not possible via Bluetooth.
I did derestrict my EP801 just recently... I sent them the .log file with serial number late in the evening and sent money via PayPal and 2nd day 9:00 I had my license code from Markus. So the response time was less than 10 hours.